Category: Personal Development

What we ALL Need to Hear

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I shared this on my personal Facebook page, and it resonated with so many people. I had a lot of positive reactions, shares, and comments to show the impact this message was having on those closest to me. I felt this was a message that needed to reach a wider audience, so here it is.

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This is amazing ❤️ we are SO hard on ourselves, and sometimes the thoughts that we have about ourselves can be more hurtful than anything anyone else says to us. It is that inner dialogue that we have with ourselves every time we look in the mirror.

When we go clothes shopping.

When we try every outfit we own before leaving the house. 

When we do our makeup.

When we are hesitant to do or say anything in fear of being judged. 

When we skip out on experiences because we lack confidence.

When we don’t believe in ourselves.

When we think we aren’t good enough.

I could go on and on and on…

What if you challenged this by catching yourself during negative self talk, and flipping it on its head? Imagine how much happier you could be. Mindset is everything, and it’s up to you to change it.

If you are constantly putting out negative energy into the universe, that is what you will get back. When we want to change our life, we have a tendency to focus on the negative. We focus on the things we want to change. The universe doesn’t understand that, and all it understands is you are thinking about your current situation and what you hate, so you get more and more of that. If you instead start focusing on where you WANT to be, that is when the universe will kick in gear and start working to make that happen for you. Manifestation works, you just have to know how to do it correctly!

Print this picture out and put it somewhere you will see it daily. Read it daily. Make it your mission to keep trying to catch yourself during times of self doubt, and forcing yourself to say the opposite even when you don’t necessarily believe it. Write out the positives. Keep a journal and every day I want you to scribble down some things that you aspire to be, only start each line with “I am”.

Do this consistently, and watch your life transform.

xoxo

Jess

Here’s to New Beginnings in 2018

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It’s that time once again where we reminisce on the past year and everything that has (or has not) transpired. Everyone has a different reaction when it comes to this moment, and it is entirely dependent on the kind of experiences we’ve each faced. I’ve seen post after post on social media over the past few days with people either expressing gratitude for such a great 2017, or expressing their readiness for 2018 to begin in the hopes of a better experience in the new year.
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For me, 2017 was full of heartbreak, pain (both emotional and physical), and loss of a loved one. It was a time of transition, where I said goodbye to old friends and made some new ones. Over the past several months, it has also been the most time I’ve spent with my family outside of holidays or special occasions in a really long time. The highlight of my year happened on June 9th when I picked up my puppy Callie and brought her to her forever home.

Though I have a lot to be sad about this year, I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a great family, a wonderful puppy that has helped me through one of my toughest times by just being there, bringing me joy every day, and loving me unconditionally. I have a job that I really enjoy, with many coworkers that I consider friends. The quote above is my promise to myself. I am going to let go of all of the bad from this year and make way for a better year with everything and everyone that is good in my life. I won’t allow the bad taste of 2017 to act as an ominous black cloud threatening to rain over my 2018 parade.

If you followed my blog before my little hiatus, you may have noticed I stopped posting. This was for a lot of different reasons, but mainly I got overwhelmed. I  needed to focus on my temporary contract in hopes of coming on in my job full time, then I sprained my knee and lost the ability to do my workouts (and with it my motivation for most things), then I got a puppy that consumed my life with training and constant pee outings, then I lost my grandfather who I loved very very much, and then my focus became my family.

Well, I am back. I realized that there will always be excuses, regardless of how valid they may be. I may not post daily as I used to, but my goal this year is to maintain at minimum 1 post per week. Blogging is something that I enjoy doing, and I am going to use this new year as a fresh start to get back in the saddle.

So, you now have my first “resolution” of the new year.

  1. Business/Personal – Blogging a minimum of 1 post per week.
  2. Mindfulness – Daily journaling to help clear my mind and focus my goals, even if it is just a few sentences on some days.
  3. Health – Getting back into my normal activity routine as much as possible post-injury and maintaining a healthy diet
  4. Growth – Daily activity to better my mind in some way. This could mean reading for 10 minutes before bed, listening to an audio book or podcast, using my language app, etc.

This may seem like a lot, but I think it is important to maintain a healthy balance. I’ve always enjoyed blogging, learning, journaling, and my health and fitness practices – I have just struggled to do it all at once. I think 2018 is the year that I am going to set the goals in motion officially, and crush them.

What are your goals for 2018? I’d love to hear them!

For those of you venturing out to ring in the new year; be happy, but stay safe!

xo

Jess

Happy-New-Year

3 Ways to Let go of Negative Emotions

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As humans, we all make mistakes. We all say and do things that end up hurting those around us, and sometimes, those that are closest to us. Now when you are the one that gets burned, the big question as to whether or not you should forgive often remains unanswered because we tend to have issues seeing past the hurt.

One thing that I have come to learn lately is that holding onto anger or holding a grudge against people typically does more harm to you than it does to anybody else. When you feel betrayed, it can be easy to fall into the self pity trap. A lot of the time you’ll throw yourself a pity party, bash the person that hurt you, make passive aggressive jabs in the form of internet memes, etc. I have done this myself, and I see it all the time on Facebook from others as well. I think a big reason that we do this is to try to convince ourselves that we hate the person that hurt us, as though hating them will somehow take away the negative emotions surrounding that which caused you pain in the first place.

The hard truth is that doing those things doesn’t actually work to reduce the negative emotions that you are feeling, in fact, it can be doing the total opposite.  For this reason, I want to share with you what I have found to be truly beneficial in these types of situations.

Change your social media attitude.

Skip the self-pity, angry, and/or depressing posts on social media, and instead, find some positive, motivational, and inspiring things to post instead. Our lives are our creation. We get what we put into the world. If you are focusing on the negativity of your situation, you will actually end up attracting more bad into your life while repelling the good. Focus on putting positivity out into the universe, and you will start attracting the right people into your life. Not only that, but if you are consistently being positive (even if you don’t necessarily feel happy at the time you make the post), over time this will actually initiate a mental shift and you will genuinely become more and more happy over time. From a psychological perspective, this is what is called a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Exercise regularly and focus on a clean diet. 

Seriously. Just do it! I can tell you with 100% honesty that exercise helps as a mood enhancer. I know this from experience. I have been on and off with fitness for three years now, and in that time I have fallen off the wagon several times. During those periods, I would be inactive with my workouts and I would struggle with my nutrition. Every time that happened, I would start to feel what I call “brain fog” coming back and I would revert back to being depressed. This is just a state of mind where I am always a little tired and groggy no matter how much sleep I get, and I start to be less cheery and happy overall.

Studies have shown that those who exercise regularly tend to be happier than those who are inactive, and even that activity can help to not only treat depression, but also to prevent relapse. Until you have experienced this firsthand, you probably won’t believe me. When I am angry or upset sometimes I will do Combat, which is a martial arts based fitness program. After half an hour to an hour of that, I feel so much better! It doesn’t have to be Combat either. Maybe you prefer dancing, or maybe you hate cardio and would prefer to take up something calming like yoga. Whatever the case may be, exercise can help you to clear your head, regain confidence when it has been shaken, and just feel happy and healthy again.

Surround yourself with friends.

Sometimes life gets in the way of our friendships and we let too much time pass between visits, or even talks. One thing that I have learned is that though you can be strong and independent, sometimes you just need to have a group of friends in your life to hang out with from time to time and take your mind off everything else. It is important to nurture those relationships, and to make an effort to keep those people in your life.

These days it is far too easy to lose touch with people, so you may find yourself in a position where you don’t feel like you have any friends. Trust me, I’ve been there! In those cases, what I challenge you to do is to go through your friends list on Facebook and make a list of people that you used to be good friends with. Next, I want you to reach out to those you wish were still in your life, and simply invite them out to do something. This takes strength, because it is most likely going to be way out of your comfort zone. If you can do it though, it may help to totally turn your life around.

These are the three biggest shifts that I have made in my life after a rough patch, and since making them, I have been much happier. In life we are bound to get hurt by people that will not see the fault in their actions, that will never apologize for hurting you, and who will do everything in their power to shift the blame from them over to you. The best thing that you can do when this happens is learn to forgive them. Not because they need forgiveness, but because you deserve to be free.

Let go of that which you cannot control, and instead focus on doing that which makes you happy. For me, that just happens to be spending time with friends, traveling, and working out. If you can determine the activities that make you the happiest, focus on those and then the rest will just fall into place.

Call to action!

If you’ve been throwing a pity party as described above, I dare you to try these three steps for 2 weeks and come and tell me how you feel when the 2 weeks are over. I am willing to bet that you will find yourself to be in a much better place mentally and emotionally after a few weeks of consistency with these positive shifts. You’re not going to forget about what hurt you, but you will eventually be able to forgive and let go. I am serious about the telling me how you feel part too! I want to hear about your experience with this challenge, so feel free to message me privately using the contact me form and let me know how you made out.

Thanks for reading, and I truly hope that this helps!

xoxo

Jess

“I already have a job, I don’t need a part time business”

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The title of this post is something that I hear a lot when talking to people about the opportunities that I present. Until now, I have just let that go and bitten my tongue. However, I recently listened to a podcast by Chalene Johnson, and it inspired me to write this post. For those of you that don’t know Chalene, she is actually my favorite trainer for Beachbody fitness programs, and you can find her in the Guinness Book of World Records for having the most home fitness workouts. In addition to being a great health and fitness trainer, Chalene also hosts podcast and helps women all over the world to build their businesses and regain their confidence. She does this through her “Build your tribe” podcast, and her Courageous Confidence Club program.

One of her podcasts had Chalene talking about part time businesses, and how she and her husband actually encouraged their employees to have part time businesses on the side. Why? Because steady jobs are not always as steady as they seem. Companies crumble and go bankrupt, sometimes unexpectedly due to unforeseen circumstances. They may suffer a hit and be forced to do some layoffs. You hear of cases from time to time where employees get screwed out of their retirement money for one reason or another. In addition, things change in life! Maybe you decide that you want to start a family, but your full time income doesn’t provide you with enough money to comfortably support and raise a child. Maybe you do have a child, and you decide that you want to quit your job and become a stay at home parent. Whatever the case may be, steady jobs may not be as steady and secure as you think they are.

So why should you have a part time business on the side if you don’t have much time to spend on it? Because that is the beauty of a business that is part time. You can chip away at a part time business bit by bit, and over time, your business will grow. Will it take time and effort? Absolutely – but it is something that can be done at your own pace.

“I’m working full time on my job, and I’m working part time on my fortune” – Jim Rohn

Think of it in the words of Jim Rohn. How would it feel to be able to live off of your full time income, but to have the security of knowing that you also have funds from your part time business tucked away for your fortune. Work full time to support your lifestyle, and allow the money from your part time business to accumulate over time. This could end up being your retirement savings. If you’re like me and you like to travel, this money could send you on trips around the world. If you have children, this money could put your kids through school. No matter what your priorities in life may be, most of us are not millionaires, and we could all benefit from having extra money coming in for added security.

If your next objection to having a part time business is that they are scams or pyramid schemes, then you should jump over to my post on Network Marketing to discover the truth. It is a common misconception that all network marketing businesses are pyramid schemes, and it is time that we set the record straight.

To learn more about the Beachbody opportunity, Click Here.

To learn more about the Younique opportunity, Click Here.

For all the ladies out there living in a man’s world.

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Normally I like to avoid all drama and controversy, but I honestly feel as though this is something that needs to be said.

It has recently been brought to my attention that there have been things being said about me behind my back with respect to my appearance, and I know that I am not alone. This kind of thing happens every single day, to thousands of women around the world. It is honestly baffling to me that people can be so catty and cruel over something so trivial. Why do we care about the height of the shoes someone is wearing, or the fact that someone wears makeup in an office of people that typically don’t wear much makeup? Unfortunately, we live in a world where it isn’t easy to just be yourself and do what makes you happy – because someone will always be there to try and bring you down.

I’ve noticed that both women and men alike are guilty of this kind of negative behaviour, so it is not just any one gender. Agree or disagree, that is your prerogative. However, these are my thoughts:

Ladies; If a woman takes pride in her appearance, wears makeup, dresses well, wears heels, whatever the case may be; it by no means correlates to her being sexually promiscuous. Sure, some people that do those things probably would fall into that category. However, I know from personal experience that it is quite possible for someone to NOT be a “slut” and to still take pride in their appearance. In my case, I do it because I lost 60 pounds. I am confident again and I feel better about myself, so I like to demonstrate that in the way that I carry myself and the way that I dress. The moral of the story here is that until you take the time to get to know a person, you have no right to make snap judgments about them based solely on appearance. I know, it is cliche, but you should not judge a book by its cover. We, as women, need to STOP the judging and bringing each other down. There are enough men out there in the world that take care of that for us lol. Instead, we need to be raising each other up. We need to be a positive force in each others’ lives, and start being there for one another. Life is not a competition, nobody has to win or lose, so lose the edge and just LIVE.

Gentlemen; If a woman takes pride in her appearance, wears makeup, dresses well, wears heels, whatever the case may be; it does NOT mean that they are dressed that way to get your attention or approval, nor does it mean that you automatically have the go-ahead to push yourself onto her in any way. Honestly, I don’t go out to clubs very often, but when I do I usually find myself getting annoyed with at least one man who thinks that it is his god given right to lay a hand on me just because I am dressed nicely and at a club. It actually infuriates me to have a stranger come up from behind me and start grinding on me at a club. I just don’t understand the notion that it is okay to grind on a total stranger without at least introducing yourself and saying “Hey, do you want to dance?”. Six simple words – how hard is that? I’m sorry, but contrary to common belief, not every woman at a bar is there to find a man to sleep with. Some of us actually go just to dance, have a good time, and blow off some steam with some friends. Once again I revert back to the cliche, because you do not know the story behind every woman. My story involves a significant amount of weight loss. The other day I was talking to a guy, and somehow we got on the topic of appearance. I learned that he actually thought that the only reason women dress well or do their hair and makeup nicely was to please men! WRONG. Once again, obviously there will be exceptions to this and there will be women out there that do those things to please a man. However, in a lot of cases, we do it for ourselves.

For example, I didn’t lose a bunch of weight to please a man. I lost that weight because I was sick of living with depression and isolating myself from the world and everyone around me. I wanted to take my life back, regain my confidence, and start truly LIVING. I do not NEED a man, and as women, none of us do. We are strong, and we can get by without a man. In today’s society, I feel like more and more women are reverting back to old traditions and relying on men to take care of them; so much so that they are staying in dead end relationships. I am a firm believer in true love. I have zero interest in staying in a relationship with someone if I know that it is going nowhere, because it isn’t fair to you or the other person to keep pretending. Sometimes the hardest choice is actually the right choice, and though it isn’t easy to leave a bad relationship, sometimes it is exactly what you need to find yourself again.

I apologize for a bit of a rant, but I have been thinking a lot lately about these kinds of things and I felt as though I needed to get it off of my chest. I wish I knew where chivalry had gone, because I want it back! Drama and cattiness has been around for ages, and I doubt that will change anytime soon. However, if this message reaches even just one man or woman and helps him or her to change their behaviour in a more positive light – it has served its purpose.

Be kind to one another, because you never know what a person could be going through.

How to Stay Motivated!

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I know how hard it can be to stay on track with a health and fitness journey, and I have fallen off the wagon many times myself. It is HARD. If it were easy, everyone would be doing. It isn’t impossible though, and you just have to decide that you’re going to do this so that you can create a better life for yourself and those around you. You DESERVE to be healthy, happy, and confident! I found this photo online, and I thought that it was a great little tip for anyone trying to keep themselves on track with a health and fitness journey. It is also a great place to start if you’re thinking about making these positive life changes, because it allows you to prepare in advance to engage in positive self-motivating behaviours.

The first point says to take it one day at a time, which is great advice with respect to your nutrition and workouts. Tracking is crucial. Each day, you should track what you did. For your nutrition, you should track everything that you put into your mouth. I personally like to create a template of what I’m going to eat the next day a night in advance. It is MUCH easier to rearrange things to hit your macro ratios when you do this in advance, because once you’ve already eaten something, you can’t take it off your journal. Tracking is made SUPER simple with myfitnesspal, which even has handy apps for smartphones and tablets. Click here to learn more about tracking and macro ratios. In addition to tracking food, it is important to track what you do with your workouts. Once you complete a workout and have the number of reps you did on each exercise and what weight you used, you will then know what to do the next time you do that workout. It also helps to show you when you should move up in weight, and allows you to track your progress over time. Click here to learn about my tracking challenge.

Surrounding yourself with positivity is a big one. It is important that you spend time with people who lift you up instead of bring you down. Try to surround yourself with positive people who support your positive life choices. If you hang out with people that constantly bring you down, it is going to hamper your progress. Sometimes people close to you can even be unsupportive of your new shift to a healthier lifestyle and try to bring you down to their level. In many cases, they aren’t doing this to hurt you, but they see themselves reflected in your positive choices and don’t like what they see. They’ll realize that they should be making these changes too, but they don’t want to, so their subconscious tries to sabotage you and get things back to normal. This can be especially hard if it happens to be a spouse, living partner, or loved one. Click here to read more on this topic and what you can do if you find yourself in this situation.

One thing that you can do to help keep you focused is create a vision board. I actually put out a challenge to my health and fitness group a while back where I asked them to do this, so I won’t get into too much detail on this subject here. Essentially what this means is that you think in depth about where you are currently, and where you would like to end up. Then you create a board of all of the things you want to do when you achieve your goals, what you will look like when you achieve your goals, what is important to you and your family, things like that. If you’d like to take on this challenge, click here to read about it.

SMART with respect to goal setting is actually an acronym. The acronym stands for specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and timely. I won’t get into too much detail here, because I actually have a blog post dedicated to this topic already. Click here if you would like to learn more about SMART and how it applies to your health and fitness goals.

One thing that helps many people stay on track is to reward themselves for achieving their goals. Some people find it helpful to reward themselves with a cheat meal at the end of each successful month. A healthier way to do this is to treat yourself to a new outfit. You could even just keep a jar in your workout area where you deposit a dollar for each workout that you do, and then when you hit your goal you can spend that money on something important to you. Maybe a spa day, who knows, that’s totally up to you! Be proud of all the small steps toward your larger goal, and allow yourself to be excited over those smaller successes.

Having belief in yourself is HUGE. It is really important that you believe that you can do it, because if you allow yourself to start thinking that you can’t do it, your thoughts will become a self-fulfilling prophecy and you will quit before you achieve your goals. If you’re struggling with something, tell yourself in your head that you can do it, even if you aren’t sure. Positive mental talk repeated over time will go a long way to helping you achieve your goals. Even if you can’t do something right away, there are all kinds of ways to modify moves. You just have to do what you can until you gain strength to do more.

Continuing from the last point, it is also super important that you don’t focus in on what you can’t do or the things you don’t like about yourself. Instead, focus on everything that you can do, the progress you’ve made, and the things that you do like about yourself. If you focus on the negative, you’ll never get anywhere. In order to be successful on your health and fitness journey, you have got to make an effort to shift into a more positive mental mindset. If you’re working out regularly and you’ve seeing results, this should happen naturally if you follow the advice in this article.

With this next point, the tracking I discussed above will really come in handy when it comes time to recognize your progress. It really helps to have a record of where you started versus where you are now, and seeing that progress firsthand can be really motivating. This can be in the form of a food journal, exercise charts showing progress over time with reps and weight increases, progress pictures, weight, measurements, etc. Any and all of these things will help you to recognize the progress that you’ve made along your health and fitness journey, and you should focus on that success. It doesn’t matter if you are still a long way off from your larger goal, and you shouldn’t let that discourage you from continuing. As I said before, focus on the positive!

One thing that helps a lot of people when it comes to staying motivated is to visualize themselves achieving their goals. So in this instance, you would sit down and relax while thinking about what you’ll look like when you achieve your goal. Think about what you will do when you achieve your goal and how it will impact your life and the lives of those closest to you. It may help for you to refer back to your vision board for ideas before you do this, and you can even update your vision board over time as you think of new ideas.

Another really important factor to staying motivated is to be kind to yourself. This may sound silly, but it really is crucial. If you are always down on yourself, pointing out all of your flaws, mentally criticizing yourself, et cetera you should focus on shifting to a more positive mental mindset. If you’re unable to do that on your own, you should find someone that you trust to talk to, or consider seeking professional help. If you are suffering from depression, you may find that cardio helps. I have never personally been diagnosed as clinically depressed, but I was going through a really tough time in the years leading up to making the shift to a healthier lifestyle. I was engaging in a lot of self-bashing, and I criticized my every flaw in the mirror. This behaviour wasn’t healthy. When I started doing Turbo Fire, a high intensity interval training program that focuses on cardio, I found a significant improvement in my mental mindset. I’m by no means a doctor or an expert, so I cannot say that this will work for everyone. However, based on my own experience, I think it is a great place to start.

Lastly, DO NOT compare yourself to others. Especially those who have been exercising and eating clean for a long period of time. I struggle with this a bit myself sometimes because I have a lot of friends that do fitness competitions. You have to remember that those people worked hard for a long time to get to where they are, while you may be somewhere in the beginning stages of your journey. Everyone is different, and we all go through different things. The weight loss process is not the same from everybody, and comparing yourself to someone else is only going to hurt you in the long run.

I hope you found this article on how to stay motivated to be helpful, but if you have any questions, feel free to send them my way! If you have been considering making some positive changes with respect to health and fitness and you just aren’t sure where to start, you are invited to join my FREE Health and Fitness group.

Make S.M.A.R.T. Goals

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There are five factors to smart goal setting that will make you much more likely to achieve success with your goals. The word SMART is actually an acronym, and it stands for specific, measurable, attainable, relevant/realistic, and timely.

First of all, your goals should be specific. Anyone can say “I want to lose weight”, but not follow through. If you say “I want to lose 30 pounds in the next 3 months by eating clean and workout out at least 5 days a week” you have a MUCH better chance of achieving your goal. To get specific, you should refer to your vision board and think about where you are versus where you want to be. You should start thinking about how you’re going to achieve your goal and come up with a specific plan to follow, and then think about the five w’s (where, what, when, why, and who – as in with whom will you be working with on this journey) It helps to have someone do this with you, so I highly recommend finding a partner.

Next your goals should be measurable. This means keeping track of things. I discussed above tracking nutrition and exercise, but you should also keep track of weight and measurements. Do your weight and measurements in the morning after you’ve been to the bathroom and before you’ve eaten food. This is the best time to get an accurate answer, while if you wait until later in the day your food and water intake may have bloated you out a bit and added a bit of extra weight to the scale that shouldn’t be there. Also keep track of your clothing size, because it will feel great to know where you started and where you ended up. Lastly, and arguably most importantly, TAKE PICTURES!! Weight and measurements can sometimes be super discouraging because your progress doesn’t always reflect in the numbers. This can happen as you put on muscle, which is denser than fat. This causes your body to shrink while your weight may seem to stay the same or only lower slightly. Pictures are my favorite way of tracking progress.

Sometimes people aim a bit too high, and that is why it is important that your goals are attainable. Have you ever made a New Year’s Resolution to lose weight, spent a couple of weeks working out almost every day and following through on your nutrition, and then phased out? A lot of people have, myself included. Where did we go wrong? We expected to see awesome results in a very short amount of time doing something that is not necessarily sustainable. Going from no exercise and diet to exercise daily and all diet is a huge transition. When you embark on a health and fitness journey, you need to realize that the weight wasn’t put on overnight, and it certainly is not going to come off overnight. It will take time and effort to achieve your goals, so you need to pick a workout plan and a nutrition plan that is going to be sustainable over time.

Next is to ensure that your goal is relevant/realistic, and this is where you really need to evaluate your goal to find out if this is something that is really important to you. If you determine that it is, you need to think about the reason behind it – because that will come in handy later if you start to feel yourself slipping and losing motivation. You need to figure out the root of the reason you want this if you’re going to stick with it, otherwise you won’t mentally associate it as being a priority. Once you realize that this is important to you and you figure out the primary reason that is driving you to do this in the first place, your next step is to assess that specific goal plan that you created to determine if it can help get you to where you want to be with respect to health and fitness. Your goal also has to be realistic. You can’t set a goal to lose 100 pounds in one month, because that would be setting yourself up for failure. Choose a goal that is realistic and attainable, and it will give you motivation to keep pushing. Too many people set goals they can’t achieve, and then they give up because they get frustrated. You can avoid that from the beginning simply by setting realistic goals.

Lastly, your goal should be timely. Deadlines are great for getting people to move their butts into action, and you should definitely use that to your advantage. If your goal is to lose 30 pounds in 3 months, you can break that up into smaller increments and set a goal to lose 10 pounds each month. You could even break it up further and set a goal to lose 5 pounds every 2 weeks. This helps you to focus on small goals little by little. Each time you hit one of your smaller goals, you’ll be excited to be inching closer to your larger goal, and it will give you motivation to keep moving forward.

I hope you found this article on goal setting to be useful, but if you have any questions, feel free to send them my way! If you have been considering making some positive changes with respect to health and fitness and you just aren’t sure where to start, you are invited to join my FREE Health and Fitness group.

Do your relationships hamper your progress?

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Don’t let other people tear you down. There are going to be people out there that are going to try to discourage you from making positive life changes and/or tell you that you can’t do it. This may even come from someone close to you, like a friend or family member. This hurts, but you can’t let them beat you down to their level.

If you’ve watched Extreme Weight Loss with Chris Powell over the years like I have, you’ll have learned that sometimes the people closest to us will try to prevent us from being successful on our journey simply because they aren’t ready to make those changes themselves. Sometimes they do it without even realizing it, and though they would never intentionally do something to hurt you, their subconscious wins the battle and they say or do things that can set you back.

Making the shift from junk food to healthy food and from inactivity to activity on a regular basis is not easy. It takes hard work and dedication. This process is made much more difficult if you don’t have a support system to lean on. For example, if you live with a spouse or significant other that doesn’t want to make healthier choices, or if your friends constantly invite you out to places where you’ll be tempted to eat poorly.

What I would recommend that you do moving forward is to start analyzing the people in your life. Think about the people that mean the most to you, and the people you spend the most time with. Once you’ve figured that out, you should then have an open and honest conversation with each of those people. Say, “listen, I have decided to start eating better and working out because it is very important to me that I get healthy and/or lose weight. As my family member/friend, I was really hoping that you would support me on this journey.”

If they are the type of person that says or does things that bring you down and work against your health and fitness goals, you can add something like “You are very important to me, and I don’t want to damage our relationship. However, I feel like you sometimes say and/or do things that make it more difficult for me to stick with my positive life choices. I would love for you to join me on this journey, but if you aren’t ready, I at least need that discouraging behaviour to stop. Otherwise I might have to take some time away from you for a while until these new life choices have had the chance to become habits”

This isn’t always an easy conversation to have, but it is important if you want to be successful. If you’re open and honest with them about what you want and how you are feeling, they will likely be open and honest with you in return. It may be just the push they need to agree to these changes themselves, and it could really strengthen your relationship. However, if they refuse to join you and they continue the negative behaviour, you really should consider taking some time away from that person to work on yourself. You need to surround yourself with positive people that support you and your health and fitness goals, otherwise your chances of being successful tend to dwindle.

As for household relationships, like children and/or spouses, think about who does the grocery shopping. Is it you? If so, just gradually start reducing the amount of junk food you have in the house! Your family might not like it at first, but if you replace the junk foods that they enjoy with some healthier options, they will get used to it over time.

You need to be a positive role model for your friends and family. SHOW them that it is possible to make these life choices and what kind of results can come from making those choices. Invite them to join you on your workouts. Talk to them about how you are feeling now that you have started this awesome journey, and make them want to join in.

If you have children, this is more important than ever, because children will model after you when it comes to food choice in most cases. If you constantly eat junk food and allow them to eat junk food, they are going to learn that junk food is good. If you don’t eat junk food regularly and you don’t keep junk food in the house or allow your kids to eat it regularly, they will learn that junk food is not good for you and that they can only have it as a treat once in a while. The problem is that many people are eating junk food ALL DAY every day. For example kids get sent to school with chips, cookies, fruit roll ups, lunchables, gummies, etc. Instead, send your kids to school with healthier snacks like fruit and veggies.

If you teach your children healthy habits early in their lives, they are less likely to become overweight or obese going into adulthood. I wish that I had been forced to learn healthy habits when I was a child, because I could have avoided all of the years that I spent depressed and in self-imposed isolation because of my weight.

Send me an email to hfmxj@stu.ca with the subject line “I’m ready to transform” if you would like to make me your free Beachbody Coach. I look forward to speaking with you, and I can’t wait to watch your mind and body transform over the course of your health and fitness journey.

My Transformation: Body and Soul

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In honor of #ThrowbackThursday, I thought I would post an old photo of myself! I look at this photo from Christmas at my grandparents house a few years back, and it amazes me how different things are now. I had no confidence in myself to speak of, so I would do my hair all fancy and wear nice makeup to try to instill confidence in myself. I still do those things lol, but now it is just for fun!

For me the best part about having lost this weight is simply regaining my confidence. I love that I no longer avoid public places, and I can actually have fun. I love that I finally get to experience things that I was forcing myself to miss out on because of my weight, like swimming and tanning on the beach. I love that I finally got out of my shell and went after a dream on mine this summer! Until summer 2014 I hadn’t flown in an airplane, I hadn’t left Canada apart from going shopping in the states a couple of times, and I hadn’t travelled or explored much at all apart from the smaller cities surrounding my own. I am so proud to be able to say that I’ve now flown 6 times, I’ve had the opportunity to explore Barcelona, Paris, and London, and I’ve found a new passion that I can’t see ever going away. I NEVER would have had the confidence to do that prior to finding Beachbody and changing my life through this health and fitness journey. 

Most of all, I just love that I’m not sad and down on myself all the time anymore. I have become a much more positive person overall. I am kind of shy and awkward by nature when it comes to talking to new people in person, but I have seen a dramatic increase in my sociability since starting this journey. I’m not nearly as shy and afraid as I used to be, and it has allowed me to meet more people than I have in years. If you’re struggling with your weight and dealing with depression or isolation because it, please come and talk to me. Beachbody changed my life, and I would love nothing more than to see your life turn around for the better too. 

Send me an email to hfmxj@stu.ca with the subject “I’m ready to transform” if you’re ready to take this leap!

Quote of the day

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“Choose your relationships wisely. Being alone will never cause as much loneliness as the wrong relationships. Be with people who know your worth. You don’t need lots of friends to be happy; just a few real ones who appreciate you for who you are. Oftentimes walking away has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength. We walk away not because we want others to realize our worth, but because we finally realize our own worth.”

This is SO true. I never did understand the people who spend their lives getting into relationship after relationship after relationship just to avoid being alone. Personally, I would rather wait it out for the REAL thing. I want someone who loves me for me, and that is what everybody should be striving for. We all deserve to be happy, and keeping negative people around will only bring you down.

Only YOU hold the power to eliminate the people constantly spouting negativity from your life! Give the negative people in your life the boot, and focus on spending more time with the people who treat you as you deserve to be treated. If you surround yourself with positive people, you will find that you start to become a more positive person yourself. 

Click Here if you would like to take me on as your FREE coach!