Tag: mindset

What we ALL Need to Hear

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I shared this on my personal Facebook page, and it resonated with so many people. I had a lot of positive reactions, shares, and comments to show the impact this message was having on those closest to me. I felt this was a message that needed to reach a wider audience, so here it is.

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This is amazing ❤️ we are SO hard on ourselves, and sometimes the thoughts that we have about ourselves can be more hurtful than anything anyone else says to us. It is that inner dialogue that we have with ourselves every time we look in the mirror.

When we go clothes shopping.

When we try every outfit we own before leaving the house. 

When we do our makeup.

When we are hesitant to do or say anything in fear of being judged. 

When we skip out on experiences because we lack confidence.

When we don’t believe in ourselves.

When we think we aren’t good enough.

I could go on and on and on…

What if you challenged this by catching yourself during negative self talk, and flipping it on its head? Imagine how much happier you could be. Mindset is everything, and it’s up to you to change it.

If you are constantly putting out negative energy into the universe, that is what you will get back. When we want to change our life, we have a tendency to focus on the negative. We focus on the things we want to change. The universe doesn’t understand that, and all it understands is you are thinking about your current situation and what you hate, so you get more and more of that. If you instead start focusing on where you WANT to be, that is when the universe will kick in gear and start working to make that happen for you. Manifestation works, you just have to know how to do it correctly!

Print this picture out and put it somewhere you will see it daily. Read it daily. Make it your mission to keep trying to catch yourself during times of self doubt, and forcing yourself to say the opposite even when you don’t necessarily believe it. Write out the positives. Keep a journal and every day I want you to scribble down some things that you aspire to be, only start each line with “I am”.

Do this consistently, and watch your life transform.

xoxo

Jess

Here’s to New Beginnings in 2018

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It’s that time once again where we reminisce on the past year and everything that has (or has not) transpired. Everyone has a different reaction when it comes to this moment, and it is entirely dependent on the kind of experiences we’ve each faced. I’ve seen post after post on social media over the past few days with people either expressing gratitude for such a great 2017, or expressing their readiness for 2018 to begin in the hopes of a better experience in the new year.
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For me, 2017 was full of heartbreak, pain (both emotional and physical), and loss of a loved one. It was a time of transition, where I said goodbye to old friends and made some new ones. Over the past several months, it has also been the most time I’ve spent with my family outside of holidays or special occasions in a really long time. The highlight of my year happened on June 9th when I picked up my puppy Callie and brought her to her forever home.

Though I have a lot to be sad about this year, I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a great family, a wonderful puppy that has helped me through one of my toughest times by just being there, bringing me joy every day, and loving me unconditionally. I have a job that I really enjoy, with many coworkers that I consider friends. The quote above is my promise to myself. I am going to let go of all of the bad from this year and make way for a better year with everything and everyone that is good in my life. I won’t allow the bad taste of 2017 to act as an ominous black cloud threatening to rain over my 2018 parade.

If you followed my blog before my little hiatus, you may have noticed I stopped posting. This was for a lot of different reasons, but mainly I got overwhelmed. I  needed to focus on my temporary contract in hopes of coming on in my job full time, then I sprained my knee and lost the ability to do my workouts (and with it my motivation for most things), then I got a puppy that consumed my life with training and constant pee outings, then I lost my grandfather who I loved very very much, and then my focus became my family.

Well, I am back. I realized that there will always be excuses, regardless of how valid they may be. I may not post daily as I used to, but my goal this year is to maintain at minimum 1 post per week. Blogging is something that I enjoy doing, and I am going to use this new year as a fresh start to get back in the saddle.

So, you now have my first “resolution” of the new year.

  1. Business/Personal – Blogging a minimum of 1 post per week.
  2. Mindfulness – Daily journaling to help clear my mind and focus my goals, even if it is just a few sentences on some days.
  3. Health – Getting back into my normal activity routine as much as possible post-injury and maintaining a healthy diet
  4. Growth – Daily activity to better my mind in some way. This could mean reading for 10 minutes before bed, listening to an audio book or podcast, using my language app, etc.

This may seem like a lot, but I think it is important to maintain a healthy balance. I’ve always enjoyed blogging, learning, journaling, and my health and fitness practices – I have just struggled to do it all at once. I think 2018 is the year that I am going to set the goals in motion officially, and crush them.

What are your goals for 2018? I’d love to hear them!

For those of you venturing out to ring in the new year; be happy, but stay safe!

xo

Jess

Happy-New-Year

8 Truths About “Cheat Meals”

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If you have been trying to lose weight or tone up then you have likely been a part of the discourse surrounding “cheat meals”. Do I allow a cheat meal once a week? Once a month? Do I allow a cheat meal only when I’ve reached my first milestone or goal? Do I not allow any cheat meals at all? Well, I am going to give you a few truths, some of which might be hard to take. You ready?

  1. You are not a dog. You are a human. I don’t know when we got into the habit of
    10252062_1495807727300105_1347712706819967600_nrewarding ourselves with food, but it needs to stop. It is like we’ve been training ourselves like we do our pets and using food as a reward for being good and following through with intended plans. This is not a healthy mindset to have. We should be fueling our body for energy and for nutrition, not to convince ourselves to do things that we want or need to do. We need to work on our mental strength and learn to follow through on our goals without using food as a reward system. Instead, use other incentives that appeal to you as a reward.
  2. Eating your feelings? Big no-no. Sometimes people take comfort in food and use it as an emotional crutch to help them get through tough times. This can become a never ending hamster wheel because you eat your feelings when you’re down, gain weight, get upset because you’ve gained weight, then you go eat your feelings some more to help you deal with the weight gain. This just goes on and on, believe me, I know because I’ve been there. A LOT. What I have found is that it is possible to get past this, you just have to find something else that you can do as a stress reliever and mood enhancer to replace the behaviour. For me, this happened to be exercise. Not at first, because at first it was brutal and I felt like I was dying every time I tried to do cardio, but over time I really came to love it. I started feeling more energized after workouts, I started to be in a happier mood over all because my body was producing endorphins, and it totally changed my outlook on things. Find something that takes the pressure off, and start investing yourself in that as a hobby to help you crush this nasty habit.
  3. When should you have a cheat meal, you ask? Never. For real though. Take the words “cheat meal” out of your vocabulary. Does this mean that you should never 10291702_1496869693860575_6598855432707716944_nallow yourself to enjoy foods that aren’t healthy? Absolutely not. If you want to have a piece of cake for your birthday, go for it. If you want to eat pizza at a family outing, by all means. BUT – this does not mean that it should turn into a free for all. The question is are you eating bad foods that can mess up your progress in excess or too frequently, or are you using a food tracker and incorporating the “bad” foods into your daily food journal? That is the difference. We need to change our mindset around food. We were born to live our lives, and if we love certain foods (ahem* poutine, pizza, and ice cream*) then we should still be able to enjoy them from time to time without guilt. It is all in moderation. If you know you’re going out to eat, you can plan ahead for that and modify the rest of your day to accommodate the extra calories from that meal. The key is sticking to whatever you allotted in your journal, so if you made room for 2 slices of pizza, stick with that and don’t go beyond. The point here is change the language that you use when talking about food. Just like this image above – replacing the way you word things can have a powerful influence!
  4. Stop with the guilt. So many of us get down on ourselves if we cave to temptation. This is how cheat meals turn into cheat days, cheat days turn into cheat weeks, and before you know it you’ve gained back all the weight you had lost and then some. Weight loss is a process, and there are good days and bad. One healthy meal is not going to magically make you drop 20lbs, just like one unhealthy meal is not going to make you gain 20lbs. If you make a mistake and you unexpectedly give in to temptation with food, just get out your food journal and do your best to modify the rest of your meals for the day to realign your macros. Whatever you do, don’t allow yourself to say “well screw this, I already messed up once so I may as well go all out”. We need to move ourselves away from that kind of thinking entirely. This is how we end up with eating disorders, which can be very dangerous if not dealt with quickly.
  5. Want real results? Eat clean. If you really want to lose weight, tone up, gain muscle – whatever the case may be – you really should eat as clean as possible. I found that the only way that I could stay on track was to cut out unhealthy foods entirely. Over time I was able to gradually start reintroducing chips, cake, pizza, and other not so healthy foods that I enjoy back into my life using myfitnesspal to track my macros. It was a lot harder in the beginning, I needed complete separation from those foods. It’s like the chip slogan “you can’t have just one”, because I really couldn’t reign myself in if I started snacking. When you’re just beginning a weight loss journey, you really need to give yourself time to make that mental shift about food. You need to give your taste buds time to adapt and your body time to expel all of the gunk, sugar, and chemicals from the junk you’d been consuming. After a while you will find yourself starting to really enjoy the healthier foods you’re eating, and even to crave them in place of some of your old favourites.
  6. Food is an addiction for some, so treat it as such. If you’re like me and you use food17155845_392974191072545_1614899538685597864_n to self-soothe, you need to realize that until you replace that addictive behaviour with healthy habits, you can’t feed the addiction. You should avoid going back to eating unhealthy foods in moderation until you’ve gotten to a place mentally and
    emotionally when you are able to restrict yourself to that which you’ve allotted. It takes at least 3 weeks to make or break a habit – so you should wait at least that long before trying to incorporate unhealthy things.
  7. It IS okay to say NO to junk food. One thing that I have learned upon making some positive changes to my life is that others tend to take offence to those who make such drastic lifestyle shifts. It is like they know they should make the change themselves, but they don’t want to, so they subconsciously try to sabotage you and bring you back to their level. This happens with quitting drinking, smoking, and more. It is unfair, and it makes things harder for you when you’re trying to do the right thing but your friends, family, or coworkers keep egging you on and trying to tempt you to give in.When that happens you need to establish clear boundaries and let them know that if they value you and whatever relationship you have with them, that they need to support you as you make this transformation. If they are unwilling to support you on this journey to a healthier version of yourself, then they don’t belong in your life. It really is as simple as that.
  8. If you fail – try again. Honestly, I have failed so many times when it comes to proper nutrition that it’s a wonder I haven’t given up. I’ve failed with weight loss because I allow life stresses, heartaches, ailments, hardships, and more to get in the way of my progress. I’ve probably lost upwards of 200 pounds in total with all of the yo-yoing I have done when it comes to weight loss. The thing is, I know what I am capable of when I put my mind to it, and you can do it too. It is just a matter of changing the way you think about food and use past failures as a learning experience. You haven’t failed until you’ve given up, so keep trying. Get help if you have to. Email me if you need to talk or want an accountability buddy, I am happy to help. Just don’t give up on yourself, because you are capable of much more than you know.

Changing your mindset around “cheat” foods is one of the biggest keys to success. However, I’m living proof that this is easier said than done lol. It’s a process. As I wrote this blog post, I wrote the whole first point using “we” throughout, and I debated on changing it. Upon consideration, I realized that I am writing this from the perspective of someone that knows that this is unhealthy and that the mindset needs to change, but I am also still working on making that shift myself…. for the hundredth time.

This is something that you really have to work on consistently and build it into the foundation of your life. It needs to become a lifestyle and not just a weight loss routine or some kind of temporary diet, otherwise, you doom yourself to failure. I am a constant work in progress, and I accept that!

I WILL achieve my goals, and I would love to see you do it alongside me. 

xoxo

Jess

3 Ways to Let go of Negative Emotions

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As humans, we all make mistakes. We all say and do things that end up hurting those around us, and sometimes, those that are closest to us. Now when you are the one that gets burned, the big question as to whether or not you should forgive often remains unanswered because we tend to have issues seeing past the hurt.

One thing that I have come to learn lately is that holding onto anger or holding a grudge against people typically does more harm to you than it does to anybody else. When you feel betrayed, it can be easy to fall into the self pity trap. A lot of the time you’ll throw yourself a pity party, bash the person that hurt you, make passive aggressive jabs in the form of internet memes, etc. I have done this myself, and I see it all the time on Facebook from others as well. I think a big reason that we do this is to try to convince ourselves that we hate the person that hurt us, as though hating them will somehow take away the negative emotions surrounding that which caused you pain in the first place.

The hard truth is that doing those things doesn’t actually work to reduce the negative emotions that you are feeling, in fact, it can be doing the total opposite.  For this reason, I want to share with you what I have found to be truly beneficial in these types of situations.

Change your social media attitude.

Skip the self-pity, angry, and/or depressing posts on social media, and instead, find some positive, motivational, and inspiring things to post instead. Our lives are our creation. We get what we put into the world. If you are focusing on the negativity of your situation, you will actually end up attracting more bad into your life while repelling the good. Focus on putting positivity out into the universe, and you will start attracting the right people into your life. Not only that, but if you are consistently being positive (even if you don’t necessarily feel happy at the time you make the post), over time this will actually initiate a mental shift and you will genuinely become more and more happy over time. From a psychological perspective, this is what is called a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Exercise regularly and focus on a clean diet. 

Seriously. Just do it! I can tell you with 100% honesty that exercise helps as a mood enhancer. I know this from experience. I have been on and off with fitness for three years now, and in that time I have fallen off the wagon several times. During those periods, I would be inactive with my workouts and I would struggle with my nutrition. Every time that happened, I would start to feel what I call “brain fog” coming back and I would revert back to being depressed. This is just a state of mind where I am always a little tired and groggy no matter how much sleep I get, and I start to be less cheery and happy overall.

Studies have shown that those who exercise regularly tend to be happier than those who are inactive, and even that activity can help to not only treat depression, but also to prevent relapse. Until you have experienced this firsthand, you probably won’t believe me. When I am angry or upset sometimes I will do Combat, which is a martial arts based fitness program. After half an hour to an hour of that, I feel so much better! It doesn’t have to be Combat either. Maybe you prefer dancing, or maybe you hate cardio and would prefer to take up something calming like yoga. Whatever the case may be, exercise can help you to clear your head, regain confidence when it has been shaken, and just feel happy and healthy again.

Surround yourself with friends.

Sometimes life gets in the way of our friendships and we let too much time pass between visits, or even talks. One thing that I have learned is that though you can be strong and independent, sometimes you just need to have a group of friends in your life to hang out with from time to time and take your mind off everything else. It is important to nurture those relationships, and to make an effort to keep those people in your life.

These days it is far too easy to lose touch with people, so you may find yourself in a position where you don’t feel like you have any friends. Trust me, I’ve been there! In those cases, what I challenge you to do is to go through your friends list on Facebook and make a list of people that you used to be good friends with. Next, I want you to reach out to those you wish were still in your life, and simply invite them out to do something. This takes strength, because it is most likely going to be way out of your comfort zone. If you can do it though, it may help to totally turn your life around.

These are the three biggest shifts that I have made in my life after a rough patch, and since making them, I have been much happier. In life we are bound to get hurt by people that will not see the fault in their actions, that will never apologize for hurting you, and who will do everything in their power to shift the blame from them over to you. The best thing that you can do when this happens is learn to forgive them. Not because they need forgiveness, but because you deserve to be free.

Let go of that which you cannot control, and instead focus on doing that which makes you happy. For me, that just happens to be spending time with friends, traveling, and working out. If you can determine the activities that make you the happiest, focus on those and then the rest will just fall into place.

Call to action!

If you’ve been throwing a pity party as described above, I dare you to try these three steps for 2 weeks and come and tell me how you feel when the 2 weeks are over. I am willing to bet that you will find yourself to be in a much better place mentally and emotionally after a few weeks of consistency with these positive shifts. You’re not going to forget about what hurt you, but you will eventually be able to forgive and let go. I am serious about the telling me how you feel part too! I want to hear about your experience with this challenge, so feel free to message me privately using the contact me form and let me know how you made out.

Thanks for reading, and I truly hope that this helps!

xoxo

Jess